We know how hard it is to be a celebrity pet owner. The pressures you must face in your daily attempts to stay one step ahead of those horrid little Olsen twins, the unrelenting media attention if just one single time you happen to forget your kitty at the veterinarian’s office, and now this – pet stores refusing to sell you a dog.

Did that biotch not know who you are? You had an album, for goodness sake. And a reality TV show. If that’s not an insult, I don’t know what is. Next stop, you’re getting refused entry at The Doheny (Oh, wait. Apparently that’s going to happen, according to their club rules).

But don’t fret, Paris. We here at PlaidFrenchBulldogs.Com are here for you, in your hour of need. We know you’re jonesing for a new puppy the way Amy Winehouse is craving a new set of lungs, and we’ve got just the tasty treat to fill that empty void you call a soul – a designer puppy.

Not just any designer puppy, either, but an officially branded designer puppy.

Thanks to the wonders of genetic splicing, we’ve combined the DNA of a regular French Bulldog puppy with the DNA from ‘authentic’ Canal Street designer bags, to create this new and splendiferous hybrid.

Available in Pucci Pink, Chewie Vuitton tan, Barkberry Plaid, CoachKennel Colorful and a slew of other (paw) prints. Get yours now – before the Olsens get here first.